I fell in love with a beautiful lie The premise seemed promising The attention and affection seemed perfectly timed I decided to intentionally dismiss the discrepancies in favor of hope The truth was always there My heart and passion hurried through the blurred lines Now I know for certain that a figment of my imagination was fed with sweetness But What is easily given is even easier to take away The coldness from withdrawal left me inconsolable How funny is it that I’ve been beating on a stone wall that had nothing behind it all along My openness and raw emotions were preyed upon Now I feel like a wiser fool That is what happens when one sits too close to the stage The magic no longer has a stronghold because all the flaws are fully displayed I got caught off guard, caught up in my feelings, and played What a dreadful experience indeed
Make no mistake;; no ALWAYS means NO Whether it is stated once or a thousand times I am an adult and can admit that there are some occasions where there’s room for negotiations BUT Repeated, adamant, pleading NO means just that When I was younger, I made excuses BUT Now that I’m older Assault is ASSAULT I cannot get past the sinister satisfaction in their eyes when they’re being begged to STOP PLEASE holds no water The friendliness and kindness go out the window Dignity is stripped away with your clothes Panic, fear, and disbelief take over Not fight or flight BUT A sense of helplessness Abuse of power is ABUSE It was then, as it is now I WISH EVERY MALE WHO HAS MADE A FEMALE FEEL THIS PAIN COULD REAP THEIR KARMA IN FULL
Between the hollowed-emptiness, barrage of saddened rage, and jumbled stream of thoughts; I am a mess. Never knowing if I said too much or should suppress it all in. All of those bad feelings haunt me. They wake me in the wee hours of the morning. Though I had been asleep, my spirit had been weeping the entire time. To verbally articulate my grief, would be the same as confessing to the world a losing battle with despair. All I can do is write; to release the strain from my body. Just know, every letter of every word in every sentence is drenched in the pain of my tears.
The passage of time is deceitful, with an illusion that there is plenty to spare. Purposely love more, feel every ounce of intensity, and see each moment as showered blessings. Leaving no room for doubt, hostility, or self-pity.