Bad Feelings

Bad Feelings

Between the hollowed-emptiness, barrage of saddened rage, and jumbled stream of thoughts; I am a mess. Never knowing if I said too much or should suppress it all in. All of those bad feelings haunt me. They wake me in the wee hours of the morning. Though I had been asleep, my spirit had been weeping the entire time. To verbally articulate my grief, would be the same as confessing to the world a losing battle with despair. All I can do is write; to release the strain from my body. Just know, every letter of every word in every sentence is drenched in the pain of my tears. 

To Wake From A Dream

You could be a mirage for all I know
An image of what is hoped for
If you let me embrace you, I would not turn you loose so quickly

You could be a phantom for all I see
A summoned spirit conjured from sheer desire
If you let me stay by your side, I would not walk away so easily

You could be less than perfect for all I care
A real person with as many faults as mine
If you let me have you, I would appreciate your very essence with intent

You could be a miracle for all I imagine
A manifestation of what I prayed for
If you let me love you…….
There are no limits to endless possibilities

Soul Food For Romance Lovers

I knew almost immediately we experienced an extraordinary exchange
Our digital dialogue felt as natural as a sweet breeze in the morning
A promising start became set in motion
Your voice was not demanding, but held a command that captivated my soul
There was no desire for me to resist in surrender
Your embrace was not insincere
I couldn’t help but want to linger there for as long as possible
Your lips melted any wall that had been prepared to keep guard in advance
It was as if healing oil had been poured onto my heart
The areas that were empty, void, deficient, and lacking have been covered
Warmth, comfort, lust, desire, appreciation, hopefulness, and satisfaction now fill my plate

Victor (y)

“The race is not given to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but (S)he that endures until the end.
Had a spiritual awakening. Met PFC Ruffin (my former self 22yrs prior to this date; AIT/Ft. Jackson, SC) midway the trail. She represents the most pure and innocent aspect of my adult life. I envied her. She was enamored with me, believing that I embodied a finished work; successfully navigating emotional and physical trauma.
I was proud to tell her one day we would love life on our own terms, and it would not break us.
I can endure. I AM SHE THE VICTOR